The first track on my CD "101 Sound-bite Symphonies", representing the number 1, is entitled "One Nasty God". It consists of one horrific chord. Here is a verbal elaboration on the topic.
The first commandment, “Thou shalt have no other god but me”, kind of puts the Kabosh on the other nine. All these useful edicts, like not violating the Sabbath by going out and killing your neighbor to steal his wife and then lying about it to your parents and the police, lose their moral strength when the reason for following them is not common sense, or common decency, but some arbitrary command of a megalomaniacal god.
Here are some examples. Why, you may reasonably ask, can’t I say the word “God” without being smitten down like some cockroach (second commandment: Thou shalt not utter my name in vain"), or if I happen to be a sculptor I’ll be condemned to eternal damnation with all other sinners (third commandment: thou shalt not make thyself any graven image")? You may look in vain for some kind or reasoned explanation for these odd edicts but all you'll find in the bible is the gruff paternal “’cause I said so, goddamit!” (OK, not in those exact words but close enough).
What’s so great about monotheism anyway? I'll grant you, it’s more efficient. Keeping track of all those hundreds of Hindu gods and their concubines can get a bit unwieldy. You need a database to keep them straight. But efficiency isn’t everything. As plot lines go, the one-god scenario is a pretty dreary story when compared to the Hindu Mahabarat. Imagine the Greeks having to worship just Zeus, with his temper tantrums, and no one else. Not even Aphrodite or Eros. Their whole mythology summed up on a napkin. Efficient? Perhaps. But what a bore.
Let’s be honest. The only thing that has kept the Old Testament in circulation is not the cockamamie idea of an invisible nasty sky god. The secret of the Bible's staying power is al the violent and dirty stuff, all those slayings and crucifixions, and double-crossings, and let's not forget sex and fornication. The Yahweh bits are just an endless irritating repetition of the first commandment, “Me, me, and only me! ! If you as much as think of trying some other deity, you’re dead meat, you sods!”
And you know something, all that smiting and flooding and turning people into salt pillars and burning them alive with fire and brimstones is not even the worst of it. The thing that really gives me the creeps is when God, after one of his frequent rampages, grabs the survivor's face tight and pulls it towards His, and like Marlon Brando in the Godfather rasps: “I only do this for you son... because I love you”.
Ugh! enough to turn anyone into an idol worshiper.
The Kvetching Factory
"Start every day with a smile and get it over with" (W.C. Fields)